you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
