You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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