The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
