Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
And then he peed in my hair
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