but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
