My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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