I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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