my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
