are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
