The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
