It's just like the Real World with babies
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
