just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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