I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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