I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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