I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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