i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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