im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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