Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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