She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
