im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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