I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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