okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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