Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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