I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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