he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize