Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
