a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
