White coat. Heels.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
