My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
