'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
