I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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