I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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