What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
