why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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