just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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