Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I miss vodka workout Fridays
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
