Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
