I want to stick my p in your. b.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
50% drunk capacity currently
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
