Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
