Are we in a gay sports bar?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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