Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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