We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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