that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
