the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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