u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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