I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
