love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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