Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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