hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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