I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
