I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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