The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
