Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm at about main and main street
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
