I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
