I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
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