do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
