i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
