so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
