No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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