Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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