i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
