she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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