Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
