i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
